Essay 1

Stephanie Cruz                                                                                                               

Professor Hutchman

Lang 120

30 August 2012

Not a Sarah McLachlan Commercial, but Something Like It

            Where am I going with my life? What do I expect from life? More importantly what does life expect from me? Such questions may be brought to the forefront of the mind in order to, shall we say, mix life up a bit. In all seriousness, I have generally been a committed person, or at least I believe that I am. Though when the decision to participate in community service comes up, I tend to brush it under the rug and go about my business. In my heart I know that I want to help the world, but oftentimes selfishness sets in and the hope for humanity is lost forever. Being given an actual assignment is forcing me to be proactive in my own personal world peace project, instead of taking the all-mighty self-assuring road.

            My idea of what I want to do to help the community comes from my own pre-determined goals and originates from their purpose as well. When I was younger, ten years old to be exact, I was very much influenced by my grandparents to become a vegetarian. They, shall we say, persuaded me that humans are terrible to animals and then preceded to hand me literature, such as Animal Liberation, which I could not help but read accordingly. In addition to that experience I had several friends who decided to join the bandwagon and become vegetarians in order to impress boys on the internet. But now I am getting off track. The point is at the time I suffered from peer pressure just as much as the next person, and made the final decision to become part of the meatless renegade. Now do not get me wrong, I do care for animals and at the time I still did, only I will admit that I made the decision to impress other people as well.

            When I was in elementary school I knew a girl named Lizzie. Her whole family had trained Scottish dogs and prepared them for dog shows. At one of her birthday parties she wanted everyone to donate to the humane society and not buy her any gifts. We made the trip with all of the goods down to the actual shelter in order to see the animals. The first thoughts which came to my mind at that age were, “Why could I not be as selfless?” and “What could I do to look like a better person than her”? I guess one could say this was my first exposure to someone who really cared about animals. I can remember walking into the white, solitary confinement of the shelter. Everywhere the sounds of exuberant barks reverberated off of the walls; a noise which if one has ever heard it will be stuck with it forever. To one side there was a pin on the floor full of puppies which were ready to jump into the first available arms offered. Walking back to the kennels was exciting at first, but then it became obvious that not all of the animals were eager for just any bystander. The faces of the cats looked so lost. So calm. So severe. So void of the capability to hold any emotional attachment. The dogs were responding the exact same way. Thought they could wag their tails or somewhat grin at people, they had always been abandoned. At first, I wanted to do something for all of the wrong reasons, but the point is that my mind contemplated the motive and became readjusted after the experience. This memory was one which was unforgettable, and though it did not seem important at the time, it actually played an important role in my own story.  

            When I moved to North Carolina, my exposure to helping animals became more frequent. My mother worked at an kennel where people would leave their pets to go on trips and such. Since the kennel was in our neighborhood, I was able to go to work with her occasionally. I was always very excited to see the animals, until my mother duly noted that the animals were vicious and had heard stories of them biting and attacking people. Naturally you would not say such things to a thirteen year old, but we will go with it. My mother allowed me to feed the animals, take them out, and give them treats. I was freaked out by her initial threat, any rational person would be, but as time went on I came to realize that the animals were just as scared as I was. As cliché as it sounds, the pets felt abandoned and some of them may not have lived in suitable homes, which is much like young children. This experience tested my sensitivity and trained me to be more of a compassionate vegetarian warrior. Haza.

            As time went on and I became more mature, I also become more passionate about the decision that I had made. During high school many people supported me, but others also tried to discourage me for reasons I still do not know. On my seventeenth birthday I was able to go to a farm and feed a baby cow. Ever since I first became a vegetarian, cows have always been my favorite animal, so this experience was kind of a big, huge, ginormous deal. Having the ability to nurture something and give it love was satisfying within itself. I knew that I would put more effort into being serious about the cause that I had been so committed to all of my life.

            In my final years of school, I decided that I would try and be more involved in promoting the lifestyle I had embraced. Creating a club was what had come to mind, and even if no one joined, I wanted to inform people about being more healthy and conscious of their environment.  In order to construct such an organization as this, I had to do more research on the matter. Though I had always been a part of Peta and Mercy for Animals, I really took the time to read and educate myself about why I was a vegetarian. Seeing the footage of animals being tortured and manipulated was one part of the research. The other sector included knowing why eating the animal products was so destructive to my body. The fats which the animals’ bodies held were only going to be added to my own digestive system; and if the food was going to be fried or covered in batter then it was not going to be a healthier food choice for me anyway. The animals would not only have extra fat, but they would also be forced to eat hormones which could interrupt on my own body growth and development.

            Being able to put what I know about vegetarianism with how to become proactive in the community has guided me to gain a further knowledge of which project to be involved in. Helping at an animal shelter, and aiding them in any way that I can, will be my new form of being active as a vegetarian. Just recently I decided to become a vegan, and as a result, it is a clear example of how my awareness of the effects of the food is expanding. Not only have I given up animal products because of health problems but more importantly the decision made me think about why I was even a vegetarian in the first place. I almost feel like a religious person who is rediscovering why they believe in a power greater than themselves, but we will not go too far down that dangerous and touchy road.

            Becoming more connected with animals will allow me to pull through in making an effort to help the world. A couple of years ago both of my dogs were taken away from me and since then becoming close with pets has been a challenge. In the last several months I have grown to have a love for my friends’ cat. Her name is Kairi and she is the most beautiful and loving cat that I have ever had a connection with. Ultimately, thinking of Kairi always makes me more determined to comfort the creature of this earth regardless of whether they are humans or dogs or horses. Kairi has a special place in my heart that ultimately drives me to do better, and she has brightened my life like I never knew another animal could do before. After I, let’s face it, became family with her I came to enjoy every animal that I came into contact with. Several weeks ago I saw a man with a Great Dane, which reminded me of my own Great Dane I had four years ago. I became overwhelmed with softness and vulnerability to take the dog home, which yet again aided my struggle to adjust to a vegan lifestyle. These many experiences with animals are always constant reminders of what I want to do in my own life and how I would like to progress. 

            Even if I only have the ability to clean a shelter or help at a kennel, I want to do all that I can to make a difference. There may be a school assignment involved, but honestly my main focus is to now put forth all of my effort into this one goal. If the experience is provoking enough, I may consider it as a career choice or at least include it in whatever I intend to do with the rest of my life. The idea of having an animal stare at me, such as the ones on the heart-breaking television commercials, seems outrageous, but it will still draw my own mind back to Kairi. The soft, touching memories will always be with me and my rebirth of dedication to animals will continue to evolve.